I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
