Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
She announced her abortion via fbk
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
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