don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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