this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
