look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
