shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Do vagina's smell?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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