is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
