I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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