my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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