I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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