the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?