I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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