A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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