Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
