Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
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I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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