Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
