3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Randomize
