You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
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he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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