So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
