Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
