38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
