Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
