bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize