Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
