apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
