You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
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I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
It was like getting head from an anaconda
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
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Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
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