you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize
