Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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