Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
