She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
This girl is more easily done than said...
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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