So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
