garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
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