I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
