Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I booty called her while she was in labor.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
