im six kinds of drunk right now
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
be right there i have to get my cape
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
