dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
