On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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