Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
