I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
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