Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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