there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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