M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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