i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
