I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
