Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
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