lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize
