i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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