VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
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so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
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we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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