Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
