you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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