If that was your dad, he is hot
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Randomize
