you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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