I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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