I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
