Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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